In Effort to Fight Discrimination and Sexism 'Big Boy' Changes Name to 'Big Individual&#

A “big” restaurant chain has just announced that they will be changing their name. This past week, officials at Big Boy have been debating whether or not they should drop their blatantly sexist title for something more appropriate. “We just felt that the name is too offensive,” the owner told us. “We want everyone to feel welcome at our restaurant whether you’re male, female, or non-binary.” The chain almost went with the name “Big Person” but were met with resistance from one of their board members who identifies as a lemur. After much deliberation, the board decided on “Big Individual.”

The move received support from many Americans, especially millennials. “I’m glad they finally realized how offensive the name ‘Big Boy’ is to a lot of people,” Mark Davidson said. Kristi Holsworth told reporters, “I never ate at Big Boy because of their sexist name, but I think my conscience will allow me to eat at Big Individual.”

The change will also affect the famous statue that stands in front of every restaurant. “We still have to come up with a new logo,” board member Don Hill told us. "It's downright inappropriate for our loge to be that of a white male holding up a burger." When asked what the new logo would be Hill said, “We might make it a rainbow unicorn, but it’s still up in the air.”

Big Individual has also issued a statement on their decision: “Here at Big Individual we welcome you no matter who or what you identify as, and if you’re a bigoted fascist who believes in the biological definition of gender then we would kindly ask you to not bring your dangerous views into our restaurant."

Big Individual also hopes it can be the example for other places of business to follow, such as “Five Guys” and “Papa John’s.” Big Individual concludes, “We hope all businesses with gender exclusionary names will also consider making the changes as we did.”

*This is not a real story, it is only satire. So please don't freak out.

*Image Source: http://flickriver.com/groups/bigboyrestaurants/pool/